.. .. HEy there, howard the cow here.. .. dee is better at handlin’ explainin’ most of what’s goin’ on here.. .. but dee prefers to be concise, while i’ve been told i once swam in the atlantic ocean.. .. i remember the sand was softer than i had expected, n’ not bein’ able to wrap my mind around the sun risin’ over the ocean, rather than settin’ on top of it.. .. wait.. .. now, where was i.. .. oh yeah, so apparently i’ve been told i’m prone to goin’ off on tangents, sines n’ cosines.. .. which doesn’t always play out as the best way to explain somethin’, when tryin’ to explain somethin’, anyways.. .. uhm.. .. where was i.. .. ah, yes.. .. oh, n’ before i continue, please understand that i’m not tryin’ to diminish the fantastic job that dee the crow always does around here.. .. or fred the cactus, for that matter, goodness only knows how much fred does without hardly gettin’ any credit.. .. why, fred was even gonna come n’ help me write all of this, although at the last minute he remembered it was time to change the batteries in his smoke detector.. .. twice a year, i understand, they recommend we change ‘em.. .. i’ve heard a good rule of thumb is to change ‘em when we spring forward, n’ again when we fall back for daylight savin’s.. .. sheesh.. .. n’ don’t even get me started on daylight savin’s.. .. it’s just, hmmm.. .. now where was i again.. .. anyways.. .. sometimes, i feel its just easiest to tell it the way.. .. well.. .. the way they are.. .. like the importance of regularly changin’ the batteries in our smoke detectors, for example.. .. or.. .. other.. .. stuff like that.. .. oh yeah, so dee had mentioned somethin’ about my findin’ a fedora after a travelin’ magician left it behind.. .. well, that part is true.. .. there was a travelin’ fair that came to town.. .. the “ “ford t’ eat too fair” ”.. .. it was one of those discount fairs ((i believe their slogan was, ‘‘ “buy a ticket, n’ you can ‘ford t’ eat too!!” ”)).. .. anyways.. .. that’s neither here nor there.. .. well.. .. actually, it was, in fact “ “there” ”, n’ not “ “here” ”, as it took place across town, in that old abandoned lot next to the.. .. well.. .. that doesn’t necessarily matter or move the story forward.. .. as i’ve been told by dee the crow numerous times that i should focus on.. .. so.. .. hopefully you can wander through all that n’ come with me through to the other side to.. .. hmmm.. .. where was i.. .. ah yes, the ‘ford t’ eat too fair.. .. what a day.. .. i was supposed to go with fred the cactus, but somethin’ came up at the last minute n’ it ended up bein’ just me.. .. which was fine, as i like to poke around a bit n’ take my time.. .. you know how i can be.. .. wanderin’ a bit, i guess.. .. so anyways, as i’m checkin’ out the fairgrounds, you know, the way i do, i noticed there was a smaller tent off to one side.. .. away from all the other tents.. .. with no one around it.. .. out of the light.. .. with a simple spru-- --ce door loosely coverin’ the entry.. .. with bright light n’ jaunty music comin’ through the edges of the door from the inside.. .. so.. .. i moved a bit closer.. .. n’ movin’ closer, i noticed a sign that simply said “ “come on in” ”.. .. so.. .. on in i went.. .. n’ as soon as i had entered, i was grateful that i had.. .. the room seemed larger on the inside than it had on the outside.. .. although, lookin’ back, that may just have been me lookin’ for somethin’ to find.. .. you know, i guess we do that sometimes.. .. i suppose.. .. anyways.. .. ah yes.. .. inside.. .. inside, there were two rows of chairs, popl-- --ar, i believe.. .. polished.. .. quite nice.. .. with four chairs per row, n’ at the far end of the rows was a stage.. .. waln-- --ut, unless i’m seriously mistaken, with the room completely bare otherwise.. .. well, with the exception of a small cher-- --ry sign, with fancy ornate letterin’, that simply read “ “presentin’: : the great.. .. for d’ two!!” ”, as well as a slight magician on the stage that looked, well, i suppose, like a traditional magician, with the boots, vest n’ cape, except for what i can only describe as an average lookin’ fedora.. .. nothin’ special, you know.. .. n’ while the room was otherwise empty, the magician took no notice of me, n’ in fact seemed to be in the middle of a trick, sayin’, to no one in particular.. .. “ “.. .. now then.. .. please keep your eyes on the fourth card that i have here.. .. remember, we’re lookin’ for d’ two.. ..” ”, when he glanced up n’ seemed to notice me for the first time.. .. “ “well, hello stranger” ” he smiled, continuin’.. .. “ “now then, please, choose a number between four n’ two.. ..” ”.. .. well, friend, i’ll share with you that i wasn’t sure what to do, so instinctively i started backin’ away, to which he responded.. .. “ “aha.. .. hmmm.. .. now tell me, was this your card.. .. the seven of hearts??” ”.. .. “ “meww??” ” i awkwardly answered, continuin’ to back up.. .. until.. .. ah yes.. .. that sweet familiar feel of cool grass.. .. well, once outside, i took in three deep breaths of the evenin’ air.. .. it was, in fact, a beautiful evenin’.. .. n’ lookin’ around, i happened to glance up to see the moon, shinin’ down on us all.. .. anyways, i came back the next day, just to re-visit the memory, i suppose.. .. except the grounds were completely empty.. .. as if the fair had never been there.. .. i strolled to where the small tent had been, hummin’ a light tune as i went, when i noticed it.. .. next to where the sign had been.. .. right where the stage had been.. .. the magicians fedora.. .. n’ not knowin’ what else to do, i moved closer n’ decided to try it on.. .. it looked like it fit, anyways.. .. well, it did.. .. a bit askew, but what can you do.. .. n’ since then, i’ve been able to.. .. wait.. .. have you heard the one about the sarcastic fringehead fish n’ the paradoxical frog, who wait at the top of the.. .. now where was i.. .. anyways, i’ve run out of room, n’ to be honest i don’t remember where i was goin’.. .. so i’ll just say.. .. thank yOU!!